Memorable Quotes from the Fabled Fourteenth

12 pounds of ribs, 4.5 litres of Jack Daniels, 6 guys from The Cord and one papered-over coffee table made for a very fabled April 14th. I wish I could provide some context for any of these quotes, but for better or worse, I don't know what most of them mean. I was just happy I could even decipher the writing through the grease, BBQ sauce and liquor stains. It reminded me of conducting some sort of perverse historical primary research, piecing together degraded penmanship and crumpled parchments to unlock the mysteries of the past. It's not exactly Paris 1919, I warn you, but it's fairly easy to tell that our main goal on the day was to puff ourselves full of senseless male bravado. As the table quotes so nicely reveal, we accomplished that and so much more.

“Dear Dan: you’re being a schoolboy bitch.”
- B. Rock

“I was mostly just drunk, and then there were people.”
- Mike Brown

“You throw at my face, not my hand.”
- Joe Turcotte, referring to the sub-par throw

“How can you hold that?”
- Tony to Al, referring to the hot ribs

“How many lighters do you think I got? An infinite amount of lighters? God.”
- B. Rock

“I’m going to Bear-in-Mind to frame it.”
- Tony

“Heyyyy, we got it up.”
- Dan P.

“No, Jerkoff glove not Turcotte glove… they sound the same but they mean different things.”
- B. Rock

“Father’s Day is the most confusing day of the year on your reserve.”
- B. Rock

“I’m a MAN… we’re all MEN!!”
- Al

“I’m not quoting myself Joe. I’m not that narcissistic.”
- M Brown

“Hey, that’s a DJ Shadow beat. Don’t even confuse that with Swollen Members.”
- B. Rock